What do you allow?

I learned a valuable lesson from Temple Grandin. One I didn't even understand for years to come. I once asked her at a conference I went to at the CDC, "How did your mom stop the meltdowns over daily living?", meaning eating and tooth brush, the every day stuff and she simply replied "Mother wouldn't allow it ". At the time I thought to myself, well it's not as if I ALLOW it. I got a lil mad cuz I thought what a crappy answer. Then recently, I caught up with an old friend. She has a daughter one month older than Preston, also on the spectrum. As we were catching up, we discussed school and she told me that her daughter has a meltdown if she goes to the school, because home and school don't mix and I gasped. Not because of the behavior, many auties have trouble with generalization. But I couldn't image not being in my sons school! Everyone at the school knows me I'm up there so much. I volunteer, I attend fundraisers, I proctor during testing.. I'm a very involved parent! All of a sudden what Dr. Grandin said made sense! Preston would never have that reaction to me being at the school, because it wasn't an option! He would've gotten over it quick because I'm not staying out of the school! I'm way too involved in his education for that!
 >> I wouldn't have allowed it! <<

I guess it's about what you are willing to accept. Some things just aren't negotiable! Seatbelts, manors (for some), hygiene, education.. Certain things just have no wiggle room. Where as, making their bed or watching tv may be something your child has seen you budge on before. You wouldn't drive to the store when your child refuses to buckle, yet sometimes we let smaller things slide. Our kids base their limits by our reaction to their behavior. They learn quickly, (yes, even auties) which behaviors they can push and which have hard limits. So the next time your facing an unacceptable behavior, ask yourself, "What do I allow?"!